Tag: spotting

God's Word · Johan@3 · Nanay Chronicles

Just Pure LOVE Today

jucynLeave a comment

Yesterday, I did have spotting (at 11W 5D). To cut the story short, my TVS showed internal bleeding (hematoma) and also UTI from Urinalysis.

Doctor’s order is bed rest, with limited bathroom privileges. 🙁

It’s so sad, I have so many things planned for the holidays, and my work piling up. But baby is number 1 priority.

Hubby and I suspect that Johan’s latching at night (to breastfeed) contributes to the bleeding. Im heartbroken. Im not ready yet to wean him, and he is always asking me to latch. I assumed he is not ready and he will not understand. I assumed he will hate me for it (affer 3yrs++ of our exclusive, bonding time together bfeeding) day in and out 🙁

During the whole day, I kept talking to this sweet intelligent toddler that Nanay’s tummy is in pain if he latched. He was sad, I can see it in his expression.

Tonight, I was still telling him, no more latching. When he was sleepy, he gave me Rubble’s picture as this is my fave Paw Patrol. Then he suddenly asked for the bottle (“dede bole” as he calls it). He would  usually asks for it when is he is still hungry after latching. This time, he asked straight for his “dede bole” and lay beside me. He drank while I lay beside him quietly.

After few minutes, he handed me back the empty bottle back and slept.

Oh my baby, he understood. I love you. I love you. Thank you ❤

Beside him is Hubby, who was so tired driving for me today and went to the grocery for my medicine and needs. In between, he was also busy attending go my needs, giving me food, water and snacks so I can stay in bed. He is also tired attending to Johan’s usual whims and attention seeking.

I saw his promise, for better or worse. I see a loving husband. I see pure ove in his service. Thank you Hubby for keeping our promise to GOD 4 years ago, Thank you. I appreciate you and bebe ko. And Im sure the little one in my tummy really really feel the magnitude of your love for us. You are a great husband and father. You, next to God our Father, is my source of courage that we can make it through this as a family. I love you. I love you. ❤

Even Ate Len who has to attend to my needs because I cannot move around the house. Thank you. I cannot see any grudge but pure concern on my situation, even if it means added work from our usual routine. May God bless you more for all that you do for our family. God knows your heart, He blesses those who are obedient like you. Thank you. ❤

Both families in Palawan and Bulacan are also im full force in praying with us. Thank you, we love love you.

Most of all, thank you God for Your LOVE. It is simple overflowing. I can feel it to the bones through the people you gave me. You are the best Father. You have planned ahead! (even the aircon in our room was fixed for the longest time since ECQ months before before I bed rest). Praising you for the provision to pay for the Labs and medicines! Praising you for your grace and hope and promise to me that everything will be alright!

Thank you for reminding me that we are safe. I love You.❤ I miss You. I guess this means a lot of time with You while taking my rest.

Today, that fuzzy feeling of LOVE overcame my anxiety, sadness,  apprehension of the future.

Today, it was just ALL LOVE. ❤❤❤

Johan

Spotting and Worrying

jucynLeave a comment

We were attending Chiqui Brosas’ Birth Classes for the whole month of Feb (I’ll post about this separately), and last Sunday was supposedly our last class. We are actually looking forward to it because the topics that session are post-partum and newborn care. I even “organized” the ordering of one of the food deliveries for our potluck.

That morning though, when we are about to prepare to go to the class, I have “blood red” spotting after I went to the restroom. I immediately panicked, but calmly showed it to Hubby (so he will not panic as well!). We were both not saying aloud anything, but deep inside we KNOW the different possibilities. We just agreed that I inform my OB via Viber and ask what to do. I guess the downside of knowing a lot is that we also know a lot more reasons to worry.

OB advised to immediately go to the hospital and have it checked. To get my mind off worry for a while, I first arranged the changes in the food delivery for our class and informed them that we won’t be able to join that day.

And yes, we were praying above all that Johan is fine.

When we arrived at the OB Complex of St. Luke’s BGC, I was immediately attended to. A fetal monitor was attached to me to monitor baby’s heartbeat as well as my contractions. I was also asked to pee for urinalysis. They also called my OB, and was checked by the resident doctor.

After couple of hours observation, we were relieved to know that everything is fine. The IE also indicated that my cervix is not dilated. Looks like an infection in the urinary tract.

After a while, we were discharged but has to go through medication for the infection. All is well now for me and baby.

It was actually a scare for me. As much as we wanted to see him (soon), baby can’t go out yet at 29 weeks.

While attached to the fetal monitor (and I cant move because it would be interprested as contraction), I asked God to talk to me. I checked my phone, and of course He did. The daily bible passage feed in my phone is exactly the bible verse posted here in this blog and my favorite for my pregnancy with Johan.

Psalm 139:13-16

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Next time there’s a temptation to worry, I should remind myself that God is control and Johan is God’s baby first and foremost.

Baby Johan is most secure in His love. 🙂